I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
