WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
