We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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