their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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