What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
