That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
