it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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