My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
