I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
