Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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