I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize