Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
