I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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