I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
...so i touched it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize