that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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