Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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