So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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