I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize