she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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