I seem to have left my pride at pride
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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