We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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