ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
