i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
