we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
