Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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