I just pynch a tree in the face
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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