Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize