come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
