whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
