He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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