What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
