I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
