She said her name was "party"
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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