So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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