Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
