I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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