i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
