I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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