Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We just shotgunned beers for America
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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