There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
