so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You ruined the universe
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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