you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
