Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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