You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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