no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm having to shit out rocks
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