As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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