he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
