I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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