This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
