Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
whose ass print is on the piano?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
