I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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