We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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