I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
