You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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