and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
