shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
