He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
